


Guardian angels don't need wings

by spaceshipgays



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji Wears Glasses, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, Gay, Gay Male Character, Guardian Angels, Light Angst, M/M, One-Sided Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, One-Sided Attraction, POV Akaashi Keiji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-03 06:43:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8701528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceshipgays/pseuds/spaceshipgays
Summary: He's there, sitting, unaware of the fact that I would give up the whole world just to keep him well.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'll try to make it angst-y since I'm not familiar with writing angst, but I hope you enjoy!

I don't know how or when it started. It just did. It just _happened_.

The flurry feeling inside me, the eager to go to practice earlier because I know he'll be there, the times I catch myself staring. Something clicked and, there they are, all my stupid new habits and new emotions I shouldn't have. 

I tossed to Bokuto-san, like always. He spikes it hard to the other side of the net, causing a loud echo in the gym, as usual. "Awkaashi did you see that?" he turns to me with an enthusiastic face, those creepy owl eyes of his sparkling. I hate it when he pronounces my name wrongly on purpose.

"Yes Bokuto-san, it was amazing."

He, again, jumps up and down as if it's his first time hearing a compliment from me. I wonder if it actually makes him that happy, sometimes I praise him sarcastically, sometimes sincerely and sometimes just to cheer him up. I wonder if they all mean something to him. It's became part of my job to keep him fired-up, make sure he gets all of my tosses and make him feel useful. Probably because if Bokuto-san is in spirit, the whole team will be okay. Protecting our ace both physically and mentally is the one rule the whole team has agreed on.

I figured out if I just be there and not tell anyone, just be there like every day, we're good. If I just stay by his side, drop the compliments that makes him feel alive or the do things that I should, if that is what makes him happy, I'm good.

He's doing good today, I can tell by the spiking power, fierce and can possibly break an arm. With every hit his cheeky grin grows wider, his eyes seem to shine brighter, every time he touches the ball there's nothing but satisfactory written all over his face. He's always turning to me, telling me how powerful that spike is or how it could be even stronger if the toss was a little higher. That's fine by me, if anything, I like it when he talks to me. I like anything that has something to do with him. I don't know what's wrong with me, but lately I find myself paying attention to him. It also bugs me when the first years hit him up during practice, but I wasn't supposed to feel this way. No one touches Bokuto-san without our team's approval, _no one_. He may be wild and all, but he sure is under strict protection.

Or maybe it's just my problem.

My problem that my feelings toward Bokuto-san is growing into something weird. That even when his stupid arm is wrapped around my shoulder it sends butterflies dancing inside me and my heart almost jumping out. "Bokuto-san, you've gained weight."

"No no no! That's only because of my muscles." 

I fall silent but secretly wishes he would talk more, in case he hears my beating heart going crazy. He smells nice, he looks nice, his laugh is nice, his voice is nice, even his usual creepy eyes are starting to look pretty cute to me recently. And being this close with him, I am, for once, amazed by my ability to not blush like a goddamn tomato right now. 

"Akaashi? Wanna go to the mall? There's a new sportswear store," he speaks up, looking straight toward the road in front of us. The mall is way too far for him to go to now, it'd take him almost an hour to get back, by the time he gets home it'd be way pass dinner time. I know Mama Bokuto doesn't like people with no punctuality. That alarms me, Bokuto-san must know, too. "No, you have to go home."

He shakes his head. "You know so well, don't you? Lucky for me, my parents won't be home tonight, so I just wondered if you could keep my company," he removes the arm wrapped around my shoulder and shoves it in his pocket. The pocket of that goddamn coat we all know is too big for hi but he insists it fits anyway.

I'm going to tell him to find one of the first-year girls, they'd gladly accept. I almost did and I'm glad I didn't. That won't be too polite, plus it won't make him happy. What _does_ make him happy? Keeping him accompanied on nights no one's home, stay with him as long as possible, yes. I guess as the vice-captain, as a part of the team, I should just stay with him. Stay with him for the sake of our team, our ace, our spirit.

Stay with him for him.

Well, at least it feels like the right thing to do now.

"I guess we can, then," I reply quietly, he's walking slightly ahead of me now, his huge shadow makes me doubt will I be able to protect him or does he even need it at all. There're chances that he doesn't, but for now, I'l be by his side.

The mall's pretty large, too many levels, too many shops, so it took us some time trying to find the store. On our way had fun, I mean, I did, because I got to spend more time with him. I got to just watch his confused face, furrowed eyebrows and such, it's kinda cute if you ask me. Though at last we ended up in front of the store with their door locked shut. 

"Damn, I wanted to get new knee pads!" he says in a childish, complaining voice while banging his head on the gate.

"We can always go some time later," I watch, expressionless, as always. "You should stop doing that, your head's gonna hurt and you'll have to pay if you break the gate."

He stops to look at me, straight in the eye. His face isn't the excited one earlier, but an annoyed, irritated one as if telling me to shut up. I remain emotionless on the surface, but inside, I felt like crying. I hate it when Bokuto-san gets sad during a match, when something goes completely out of his control. Yet he's never, _never_ got sad because of me. I don't want him to, either. I want to be his source of light, joy, the one he goes to when he feels like the world is crumbling down on him, the one that crosses his mind when he needs someone. This face is like a merciless slap in the face, as if telling me I'll never be able to be _that_ person to Bokuto-san. I'm not the one that can make him the happiest person alive. That I don't deserve any place in his heart, he'll never like me the way I like him, all I'll ever be is a backstage supporter. He'll never lov - 

Then, then he smiles.

He smiles, it's like fire in thick snow, sunshine in the storm inside my head. The corners of his mouth lift higher and higher, soon it cracks into a laugh, not the mocking kind but the kind that sets you on fire. When he laughs, it's the most beautiful thing I've seen. It's not my first time seeing him laugh, yet it just - _clicked_. I am solely, utterly attached to this sight, sound, moment. Like the moment you finally have your chance to shine during a matching, like grasping your very own technique, it feels just as exciting seeing Bokuto-san laugh.

"You'd make an amazing mom, y'know?" he says on the way to the bus stop.

 _It's only my job to keep you safe and sound, Bokuto-san_. It almost blurted out of me. Several times on the way I even wanted to tell him about the weird stuff happening to me when I think of him, the tiny bit of sanity left in me held me back just in time.

"I've got no breasts to feed," he chuckles. It's all okay, as long as it makes him glad.

He tells me it was nice, even though he still couldn't get himself new knee pads and stuff, I'm not really listening because I'm too busy looking at his face. He isn't smiling, not exactly, but you can tell he's feeling pleasant. And I? I feel on top of the world, I feel successful. So this boy does need encouragement and protection, after all. "Well, I'm surprised you came even if it's late."

"I didn't have anything to do anyway."

"I'd still choose to go with you over some girl next time. It's always fun with you."

"Keeping Bokuto-san cheery is..the team's job."

"Oh yeah?" he leans in a little, I can already hear my heart thumping again. "You're handsome when you smile."

Apparently without noticing, my lips have turned itself into a moon shape. I know why, I know exactly why. Bokuto-san makes me feel save and...happy.

"Bokuto-san," his bus arrives, my time is short. "Uh, I..."

 _I love you_. 

"Goodnight."

**Author's Note:**

> I TRIED I TIRED OK I'M, I'M SORRY IF IT'S NOT REALLY WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR IT SOUNDED GREAT IN MY HEAD I JUST. THANK YOU FOR READING XX


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